Will a doula make my partner feel unnecessary?
No, a doula is supportive to both the mother and her partner, and plays a crucial role in helping a partner become involved in the birth to the extent he feels comfortable. Many dads report feeling more useful with the help of a doula to guide him in ways to help the laboring woman.
Click Here to read DONA International’s article “Dads and Doulas”.
What if we want our birth to be “just the two of us”?
Ideally, a private birth experience is a very nice goal! Unfortunately, unless you are planning an Unassisted Childbirth, it is an impossibility. Wherever you plan to give birth, hospital, home, or birth center, you will have medical staff attending you at various times during your labor and birth. Interestingly, at the actual moment of birth, when most couples are the most concerned about having a private moment, is when the most medical personnel will be in attendance. In a hospital, there will be the doctor or CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife), usually two labor and delivery nurses, one baby nurse, and others such as residents, students or emergency personnel if there is concern over the baby’s health. During labor is when the couple will be left alone. This is the time you really need the support of a doula! The look of relief on a dad’s face when the doula comes into the room is almost humorous! Finally he can take a bathroom break, lunch break, or just an emotional time-out! Labor is hard on dads! When I assist at births, I work with my couples to determine how involved dad wants to be. Some dads are very hands on and I am there to assist in suggestions and position changes, as well as informing mom of medical procedures. At other births, dad may be more comfortable in an observer-type role. I then take a more active role. I strive to be very sensitive to the couple’s desire for privacy at their birth by discussing before the birth how I best fit into the birth team. At the actual time of birth, I try to facilitate as intimate a moment between mom and dad as possible.
I am receiving care from a midwife. Do I still need a doula?
Do I need a doula for my Birth Center or Home Birth?
The short answer to these questions is yes! Whether you are delivering with a Certified Nurse Midwife at a hospital or birth center, or a Licensed Midwife at a birth center or a home birth, doulas are a valuable part of your birth team.
*Your doula will have met you at least a couple of times before your birth and be familiar with your preferences, feelings and previous experiences. She is available to help you write a birth plan, give you support and education during your pregnancy, and assist you after your birth with breastfeeding or any other concerns that arise.
*She is hired by and is accountable only to you. Not the hospital, birth center, or midwife. She is only concerned with your and your baby’s wellbeing. She will not be preoccupied with paperwork, other patients, medical interventions or medical equipment.
*Your doula will be with you from the time you call her in labor. Your doula is with you to provide labor support – midwives are baby-catchers. Depending on the location and type of midwife, you may only see your midwife during the pushing stage of birth.
*It is not possible to know who your midwife will end up being in many cases. You will be cared for by the current midwife on call. Unless an emergency arises, you can be certain that you will have with you throughout labor a doula that you know well.
*Due to the fact that midwives and their birth assistants are involved in a medical role, it may be difficult to gain emotional support from them. Even if they have been trained as doulas, if they are not currently acting solely in a doula role, the medical aspects of your labor and birth must be their priority. The doula’s job is to support you emotionally and physically regardless of the medical situations that may arise throughout your birth.
What happens if you can’t come to my birth due to an emergency?
I have excellent backup doula support! I want you to feel as comfortable with my backup as you do with me. After contract signing, I will give you the name and contact info of my primary backup. You may contact her to acquaint yourself if you’d like. If, for WHATEVER reason, you do not feel comfortable with her, I will give you the contact info of another doula. This will continue until you are satisfied that my backup is someone you are content to have assist at your birth in case of emergency.
What is a Post Partum Doula?
Are you a Post Partum Doula?
A post partum doula is someone who comes to your home after the birth of your baby to assist with breastfeeding, light housekeeping, meal preparation, caring for older children, and anything else you need to enable you to rest and bond with your baby. I have very limited post partum availability. My birth doula clients take top priority on my schedule. I prefer to only do post partum work with my birth doula clients. I do offer 1-3 post partum visits to my birth clients to assist in breastfeeding and review how your birth went. If you are looking for a post partum doula, contact me and I will get you the information you need.
Is there anything you won’t do?
I will not:
- Make any decisions for you or your family. I provide informational/ educational support to enable you to make informed decisions regarding you and your baby’s care.
- Argue with hospital staff. I will help facilitate communication between your family and the staff if desired.
- Perform clinical tasks (fetal heart tones, vaginal exams, etc)
- Operate medical equipment
And… I am not a midwife. I do not catch babies!